Resistance
Sometimes in my study, although I am filled with interest in the teachings of the Buddha, I find myself with resistance towards it. In my fourth semester at RYI, I learned to see this resistance as nourishing ground for my self-study. What I call ‘self-study’ is something we indirectly sign up for when engaging the Buddhas teaching. It is the consequent watching of the movements of our minds, the study of our self as it manifests from moment to moment. It is the awareness of the mind ground, onto which all the Dharma teachings are to be applied. So when I saw my resistance to study, I learned that behind it was the mere painful sensation of growing pains. Studying Buddha dharma does change our way of thinking. It is often an invitation to letting go of cherishing beliefs and habit patterns. Especially if one has held something for a long time, to then let it go initially is very painful - like letting go physically of a (luggage) handle that one held on for a long time. ...